Let’s face it, we all have problems. Believe it or not, even the happiest person in the world had to face a difficult situation at some point in their lives. And it’s just that problems are a part of our lives, because beyond tormenting us, they show up to test our coping skills. Now, not all of us have the same problems, and not all of us face it the same way. Some people prefer to avoid problems, by living a limited life and no having any risks at all, others lack on their friends and families to solve their problems, why lots of others simply ignore problems, thinking this way they will disappear.
And there are others, probably the majority of people around the world, who rather not to talk about their what’s going on with them or how they feel, keeping their emotions inside, under the belief that talking about it won’t solve their problems. Truth is, that besides it is a deep- seated belief, it’s far from being completely true, and it’ll probably come from fear most people feel over talking about their problems, because they are scared of being judge, or because they think that talking about their problems will make them more real. However, even though talking about how we feel could not be helpful all the time, talking about it with the right person could be completely helpful. Lots of times we are surrounded by people with great knowledge and understanding, that, even if they are not counselors or therapists, they can help us see our problems from another perspective and find a solution with us.
But, when our problems or difficult situations tend to be repetitive, showing up in different scenarios, it doesn’t matter how much our friends or family members want to help us, because there is something else in ourselves that is affecting our emotional health, and that is leading us to repeat the same situations again and again, generating the same problems again and again. It is in these cases that visiting a counsellor, psychologist or therapist tends to be the best option, but we rarely do it, mainly because there is a sort of fear or skepticism to it, both perceptions coming from lack of knowledge of what a real counselling process could be.
Commonly, when we hear the Word “psychologist” or “counselling” we associate that with madness, big mental problems, or human beings that feel so bad or depressed that require special attention or some sort of rehab therapy. This could not be more far from the truth. Even if it is true that a psychologist can provide therapy to a mentally ill person, this is not necessarily the rule, in fact, in most cases psychologists and counsellors work with individuals mentally healthy, that are facing some circumstances in their lives that are causing a crisis, or that are affecting their emotional health and wellbeing.
So, going to counselling doesn’t mean that we are “sick” or “crazy”, on the contrary, it means that we are sane enough to realize that our emotions are a Little bit out of control, or that something is not working properly with us, so we need help to fix it. Maybe because of what we have heard from others, or because of what we have seen on TV, the movies or even some fiction books, people tend to associate counselling with an extremely hard and painful process, in which we first need to feel really bad, to be able to start getting better later, if we can do it.
Others even think that a counselling process means something esoteric, where someone hypnotizes you, read cards to you or even guess what it is that you’re thinking. There are even others who think a psychologist it’s going to tell them exactly what they need to do, and that with only one session will be enough to feel better; so, when they realize it’s not like that, they feel frustrated and stop going. Truth is, a psychologist or a counsellor does not do any of that, and a counselling process doesn’t have to be painful all the time, because every human being is different and everything will depend on their individual and specific circumstances, besides, beyond being painful, it’s a relieving process.
It is possible that from one session to another, some aspects or ourselves that we didn’t know can come up to the light and yes, it can be uncomfortable, however, this is precisely why the counsellor or therapist is there, to make you realise the thing that are really bothering you and that you couldn’t identify on your own, and to help you find the tools to work it out and feel better. A counsellor or psychologist helps you preserve your emotional health. He listens to you actively, he makes the necessary questions to lead you to identify what it’s really affecting you, and gives you the keys and tools so that you with your own skills and abilities, find your wellness.
Even though every psychologist has a different approach, independently of that they have the commitment to help you and serve as a bridge so you can feel good. As every case and every person is different, counselling can have different times for each person. Could be a long process for some, or a short one for others, it relies a lot on the commitment you assume as well. The more consistent and committed you are, the shorter your counselling process could be. So, talking about your problems can actually help you solve them, as long as you are really available to do it, and that you do it with the right person, a professional with enough experience to provide containment to you, and motivate you to advance. It is time for us to change the perception of psychotherapy and counselling, because one who is wise can perceive when it needs help to be emotionally healthy.